The Roles of Parent and Child Change

The elderly population is growing at an exponential rate! At some point many of us will move into care giver roles for our parents, whether it is in our own homes, their homes, or supervising care in a facility. We will be charged to add a creative part to the process in order to keep the elder’s self-worth alive and to maximize their quality of life.

The role reversal of parent and child as the parent ages is often a wake up call. Gradually, the parent has become dependent on the “child,” who is now an adult, and with the dependency comes new dynamics that the adult “child” must shoulder.

There is a dangerous part in all of this that the adult child has to cover: protecting the elderly parent from falling, from taking on tasks they can no longer easily do, from not getting very basic needs met appropriately and many more.

Here’s the creative part in caring for elderly parents: keeping self-esteem alive and well, providing mobility aids, bath safety, and making their living areas as pleasant and comfortable as is possible.

Many Responsibilities Surface for Care Giver

All the while helping them to be safe and secure in their environment, the now care giver has many responsibilities. It all boils down to enhancing the quality of their lives. For example, a day trip within the community can make an otherwise dull day bright. A transport wheelchair is relatively economical and makes care giving vastly easier.

In providing the care needed for the elderly parent, it is important that the elderly feel respected and worthy. Enhancing the quality of life for the elderly parent is helped with living aids; however, the attitude of the caregiver will be the basis upon which the care given is built.

Take a Self Inventory

Being honest, conflicts with parents are one of the stages of child (sometimes adult, too) development. Now we have to work through all the old hurts, wrongs done and even possible guilt for our feelings. In many cases, it is exceptionally difficult to put away the old pains and resentments. The past can be tenacious and letting go may seem impossible. The only guidance I would give is to “be the person you have grow into being”! Lessons have been learned.

Then there are those of use who feel we have to make things better when, in reality, we can’t change most of the events our parents now find in their lives. Hard lesson! One does what one can, we are not responsible for changing the impossible. Again, we are responsible for “being the person we have grown into being.”

You have to manage your own life as well, and it will need to take priority many times.

Ultimately, spinning the day as positively as possible, giving respect and encouragement, and providing the help you are able to do are major parts of creatively caring for elderly parents. The basis of your care will always begin with fostering a positive attitude within yourself.