Awareness Is First Step
Struggling with healing from emotional and physical injuries often becomes a long, drawn out process when the person doesn’t understand or even identify anger’s role. Anger can be a complication that may confuse the person about what is truly important, and prevent healing abilities from being the major focus.
Anger about the injury can take over and cause the person to be stuck in an emotion that, at this point, serves as more destructive than helpful. However, anger is one emotion that may have the most pointed, overall relief when managed appropriately. We will discuss the actual management of anger in future posts.
Of Course, Many Emotions Interact and Influence the Injured Person
As with all healing, numerous emotions play parts in the process. Sadness is easily understood as injuries result in losses, both temporary and long-term, and grief may manifest for the body and emotions that are now changed. Fear jumps in as a protective worry to avoid further loss or pain. Frustration results in wearing the person down to where energies that need to be directed toward healing may be fraught with hopelessness, powerlessness and depression.
Resentments about loss of physical abilities can be a devastating. Adaptive equipment bolsters physical abilities and may return needed mobility and assistance with daily living tasks. Finding appropriate medical products and physical therapy will reduce the stress of daily survival and coping.
Self Help–A Place to Start
Yes, self help is a proactive stance. Do not reject getting professional help. It is always amazing that expressing yourself to a therapist may bring unexpected gains. Hopefully, you are not stuck in the old uneducated and foolish belief that you must “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” or you are weak . People that promote no therapy from professionals are uninformed, extremely rigid in old, outdated beliefs and basically stuck in their own issues.
The American Psychological Association (APA) provides a wide variety of help for addressing emotional problems. Reading suggestions by professionals can maximize your ability to manage difficult emotions. You can learn greatly from on-line help by the experts.
Modern technology provides excellent products to teach you techniques in your own home and when it is convenient.
Healing is indeed a complicated event, especially when the injuries are deemed life changing. While all emotions weigh heavily in the person’s likelihood of recovery, perhaps understanding and working with anger may be the most powerful in providing relief and getting the healing process on track.
Viewing Anger in New Ways
Needless to say, anger has gotten a “bad rap” because of some of it’s destructive properties; however, as an emotion, anger belongs to each and every one of us. It can be destructive, of course. Learning to manage anger is an absolute necessity; we all are born with the potential to get angry, and it can serve a worthwhile purpose in developing our personalities and coping styles. When the learning only tells us to act out, be aggressive towards others or ourselves, or withdraw, retraining is definitely needed.
In other words, if poor behavior choices are what we learned to control anger, we are stuck with an extremely non-adaptive set of behaviors. Poor anger management allows anger to become a dangerous, destructive behavior pattern for us and everyone who crosses our paths. It will stop healing processes at that time. For our bodies to heal, there has to be emotional healing, as has been extensively researched in mind body health.
Wisdom of the Past
An insightful definition of depression long before current diagnostic manuals and rules was “depression is anger turned inward.” Not saying that other dimensions of depression should be overlooked; however, that statement explains the power of anger to derail and create extensive problems in the healing process.
I learned another piece of wisdom when working in a worker’s compensation rehabilitation center: it is not unusual that individuals with difficult, long-term injuries, are often stuck in the healing process. The “stuckness” was frequently related to their anger at their employers or the insurance companies regulating their treatment. The focus of healing has to encompass the emotional component of any injury. Further, it highlights “mind body theory” that links healing with physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual aspects of the whole person. We are, after all, not just the injury, but the entire person!
Whoa, Not talking May Be the Prescription
As therapists, we have learned that not all emotions should be expressed fully at all times. Certainly talking about your anger should be explored. However, if you find that continuing to express anger merely triggers further anger, you may need a trained professional to help in the exploration. You may learn to limit yourself in anger expression when it becomes apparent that the expression just leads to more anger and frustration, and ultimately it is destructive to you, not helpful.
The Least You Need To Know:
1. Anger is powerful enough to derail healing.
2. We are all born with the ability to be angry. It is a natural emotion.
3. If we learned to handle anger a particular way, we can unlearn that way, and find more adaptive behavior.
The Mission, should you choose to accept, requires:
1. Be honest in discovering your anger and how it affects you.
2. Explore ways to manage your anger, including getting help, if need be.
3. Check back with us for more detailed anger management techniques.
