Words From A Believer
Time is usually necessary to integrate change, especially in self-esteem. My client deployed overseas after she had sought therapy for a number of sessions. She had been feeling desperate about relationships not working out and finding herself being used. However, she was afraid of letting relationships go because of her fears of loneliness and beliefs that she was only worthwhile, if a man gave her validation. I recently received this very welcome e-mail: (Identifiers of client removed)
Dr. White,
I wanted to update you that about a month ago I bumped into “friend” at my job. You would be so proud of me that I am finally over him. I saw him and he said hi and I said hi back. I was cordial like you said I should be. I kept walking though, so I didn’t stand there and talk to him. Then a couple hours past and he emailed me. He was asking me all sorts of things about me and my life. He even said he thinks about me all the time and he likes what we had before I left. I told him it’s nice that he thinks about me, but I don’t do the same. That was it. He did start working with me again at my job in “city,” but I won’t be dealing with him at all since I am deploying every other 4m and when I’m home in the states I am off for 4m. When I saw him, I felt nothing. It was great, and what’s even better, is that I didn’t even feel any anger towards him. It was weird because I didn’t expect to not feel angry anymore and that’s how I really know I’m over it. He’s obviously still trying to be with me, but don’t worry I’m not falling it for it. BTW I have to go back overseas in the Fall. I wanted to say thank you for everything. You’ve really helped me a lot. I hope you are doing well.
Take Care,
“client”
We will get her thoughts on how she did it in the next post.
The least you need to know:
1. Getting caught in hurtful behavior patterns takes a powerful toll on self-esteem.
2. Recovery is possible.
The mission, should you choose to accept, requires:
1. Recognition that you may be stuck in hurtful behavior patterns.
2. It is within your power to break those patterns.
3. You have to want to change!
