The Courage Of Personal Growth
Let’s begin with 2 caveats: 1. true victims of either abuse or tragic circumstances are victims; 2. whether your past places you in the authentic role or you perceive yourself as powerless and at the mercy of others, the treatment is essentially the same. You must put yourself in charge now in order to heal, do your work and improve your quality of life.
“Bad things do happen to good people.” This post is not to point fingers in search of who is to blame for your struggle. Rather, it is to focus you on how to overcome negative self-esteem and powerlessness, how to overcome the inertia and destructive emotions that may be permeating your life. Basically, the theme here is to help you discover what to do to get unstuck.
A “victim” mind-set colors perceptions and muddies the water until clarity appears impossible and hopelessness sets in. It is hard to overcome the old tapes about loss of hope and loss of power playing relentlessly in your chattering mind. It is normal for a mind always to be thinking; if you are stuck on certain beliefs that have no answers or solutions, those thoughts are damaging to you. Your job is to take back control, and turn your direction to solutions.
Change Has To Start With Willingness To Rethink Your Position
Somewhere in trying to understand your world, you may have concluded that you have been the subject of unfair practices–strong forces that have brought your dreams and hopes to a screeching halt. It could have even happened in childhood. Thus, the ease with which your self-assessment reveals that you are helpless to overcome circumstances settles you squarely into a “victim” stance. You likely tell yourself that you cannot overcome what has happened.
You may not be able to change the past; however, this is the present, leading to the future. It is time to focus on a new mission: take charge and become the master of your life. The attitude that you are ready to change empowers you. First, you must accept that you want to change and are no longer willing to stay stuck! Change puts you in the driver’s seat, allowing you to chose the best direction for you.
The First Step Is Be A Scientist–Find The Baseline
Become consciously aware of the content of your thoughts. Catch yourself in the act of repeating negatives to yourself. (Check other posts regarding Positive Thinking, www.healthyavatar.net) Write your thoughts that you feel are the problem in order to clarify them. Awareness is a powerful tool and will suggest your next step: to create a strong, powerful, assertive identity to bring your “healthy avatar into play.”
Next Step: Take Action
Once you begin tagging the persistent negative thoughts, begin to counter them by substituting positive self evaluations. Reading positive literature provides ideas and techniques that work. Remember, you are the only one inside your head, and you can, therefore, think what you choose. You likely would not say degrading comments to a loved one; don’t say them to yourself. Grow into that powerful, healthy being that you are meant to be.
Now with the use of new inside tools, watch the quality of your life transcend from where you have been stuck. Positive attracts positive, and conversely.
The Least You Need To Know:
1. If you play the “victim” card in your head, it limits your healing and moving forward.
2. Even if you are rightfully a victim, find a more positive identity.
3. You can change to an empowering mode.
This mission, should you chose to accept, requires:
1. Redefine your role from victim to activist.
2. Become aware of self-destructive thoughts.
3. Correct your thinking and internalize your power to change.
